You know what’s human AF? • Preaching positivity and gratitude all day long, but then getting home and crying yourself to sleep at night because you just can’t find the motivation to get yourself out of the rut you’ve been feeling • Researching all the latest health and wellness trends (especially the “lose weight fast” ones) and rolling your eyes when you see someone make an “unwoke” food decision, but then come 1am: commence the “Oreo, ice cream, Nutella, and everything left in your pantry dipped in almond butter” binge eating • Encouraging other people to stand in their light and being a vision holder for their dreams when they are questioning themselves, but then doubting your own strengths and mentally bashing yourself for all of things that you think you’re not • Pretending to be the person you think people want you to be... but really, you feel shitty •
Despite “the perfect life” people think I live, that’s what I’ve been feeling lately. Pretty shitty. I took this trip in hopes of reconnecting and giving myself the time and space to face some truths as to WHY. I know I can run anywhere I want, but I can’t run away from myself. What I can do though, is be honest with myself. Show up to the moments that make me go “ew Alyssa.” The ones that are human AF, and treat them with kindness and gentleness and the same judgement free understanding with which I would treat a friend.
Learning and re-learning always, that it’s all OKAY. That life is not always an upward trajectory. It’s zig zaggy as fuck. That allowing myself to feel all of the things doesn’t make me “not normal” or “a burden” or “a hypocrite” it makes me human. And because I know that God and the universe have my back, they make me hopeful that something good this way comes....Because they are expanding and creating an opening for me to let more light in in the future. PSA: That doesn’t make them any easier to go through, but it does provide some peace.
So alas, in case you wanted to know how my trip was... the sun and salt water didn’t necessarily wash all my cares away, but they certainly made me feel a bit better. As they do. ☀️ Can I get an amen from people who made it down this far??
151 30373:46 AM Nov 19, 2018
In case y’all are sleeping on this headshot sorcery 🔮 It’s been a exactly a year since @justinpatterson pulled this magic off in less than 15 min...
143 378611:43 PM Nov 14, 2018
Back to back, face to face, side by side and now far apart. Convinced that there ain’t nothing we can’t do. Sending my beautiful friend, boss, mentor, partner in crime, and soul sister off to North Carolina with lots of love. Conquering the world one milestone at a time. Love your heart @_melissajoan! NY misses you already! 💙
56 24911:48 AM Nov 9, 2018
Seasonal Affect on 💯0000000 lately... Wake me up when September, October, November, December, January, February (except briefly on my birthday), March, April and half of May end 😴 also, #SendATan
Whadddupppp NEW YORK 🙌🏼 @nyknicks Opening Night and my 8th Home Opener with the @knickscitydancers (6 dancing and 2 coaching) I no longer wear this iconic uniform, but I DO get to watch from the sidelines as my beautiful, talented, and hardworking dancers do! Grateful to have been a KCD and extremely HONORED that now, I get to be their Coach. Can’t wait to show ya what we’ve been prepping! The World’s Most Famous Arena awaits.... Let’s get it, let’s get it ✨ #KCDAlyssa ➡️ #KCDCoach
146 446010:01 PM Oct 17, 2018
Got some dusk in my eyes 🌅
85 24541:08 AM Oct 15, 2018
6,500 languages in the world and only one is universal... SMILE babies! 💫 (and also, Humans supporting HUMANS! - we need more of both lately)
115 39774:41 PM Oct 5, 2018
How good is the sunshine on your face y’all!?! If you’ve ever walked anywhere with me, you’ve most likely caught me turning my face toward the sun. Eyes closed, chin up. Like a sunflower, following the light. With everything going on around us, it’s easy to keep our eyes forward, focused on the pathway in front of us (or down at our phones #guilty) But what happens when we turn our faces to the sun? Warmth, gratitude, happiness, growth, vitamin D, A TAN! And on and on and on. I’d like to think of that as a metaphor for life... Be aware of what’s going on around you, but never forget to look for the light. Happy Wednesday my people! Go be a sunflower 🌻