I've made a few changes to my life these last couple of weeks. Minor changes, but impactful. I stopped using social media. I use my computer to log in once a day to check messages to make sure I'm not missing anything from clients, but when I posted something, it was from a 3rd party app. No scrolling or watching stories what-so-ever. No forcing myself to post once a day. Not even stressing about what I post or how good the caption is. And guys... it feels good. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I feel more clear.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have more energy. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I'm much more productive and focused.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I feel happier and lighter.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My days are going by slower.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I feel more present.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
My mind doesn't feel overwhelmed with thoughts of envy, inadequacy, or longing.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I feel more creative and inspired.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I don't feel like I'm in a constant rush or constantly busy all the time.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I feel like I'm living my OWN life. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Gus has also been taking a step back from scrolling. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We feel more present with each other when we're together.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
We were more socially active with friends this past week than we have been in months. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I mean, it's not like we spent every minute of every day on social media and never spent time together, but even just 1 hour is too much. Cutting it out has improved our relationships in ways I didn't know needed improving.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I've also been reading this book called Digital Minimalism and it's helping me realize a lot about my presence online. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I want a new approach to social. I'm not going to disappear forever, but I'm going to be more intentional with it and only post when I genuinely want to. I'm done endlessly scrolling though. These past couple of weeks made me realize I was gaining absolutely nothing from it and wasting many hours of my life.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I have SO much to say about this, but instagram only allows so many characters in a caption. Either way, this decision feels right. If anyone else is feeling bogged down by SM, try it. Then let's talk about it together over tea (the old fashioned way).
4 566 hours ago
No words today - just wanted to share a photo.
3 4416 March, 2019
How often do you spend time with nature?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The other night I was browsing through these old video diaries I used to make back when I still brought my camera with me everywhere. I noticed so many clips were wide shots of the different places I've explored. A phrase popped into my head as I watched it: "Worship Nature." There is something insanely sacred about this planet and the fact that it's here. We're here. And somehow, there is a delicate ecosystem that keeps everything functioning. When I feel overwhelmed or overstimulated, I go outside. Somewhere away from concrete and exhaust pipes. And then I feel completely rejuvenated and recharged. Aside from creating art (which is a-whole-another-kind-of-sacred) nothing else can do that for me.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When was the last time you worshipped nature?
Here’s some vulnerability from me to you: I don’t like talking about myself on social media. I used to love it, but not anymore. If it weren't for my business, I don't think I would be that active on social media these days.
I am in an uncomfortable situation. I feel like I have to post on social media if I ever expect my business to flourish in this day and age of communication and marketing. I kinda have to put myself out there so that I can establish trust and connection with the people who hire and follow me. But I don't necessarily want to put myself out there - so am I even being authentic? Am I sharing for the sake of sharing and connecting with others? Or am I sharing out of a feeling of obligation/need for validation? Am I avoiding sharing because I’m afraid of what the world will think of me? Or am I simply just content with my physical life that I don’t feel the need to share at all?
Here’s my honest answer: I. Don’t. Freaking. Know. ⠀⠀⠀
I never expected it to be such a difficult task to navigate this digital world with you all. I honestly feel much happier when I don't spend time on social media. I deleted Facebook from my phone over 6 months ago and I installed an app on my computer browser to remove my news feed when I log in and it has changed my life. Yeah, I'm out of the loop when it comes to current events and relevant memes, but damn, I feel clear. But then I scroll through instagram and see lives I wish I lived, places I wish I could visit, photos I wish I had taken and art I wish I had made and I go to bed feeling inadequate. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I've yet to find the secret to balancing it all. The push and pull of staying "connected" to the grid while it simultaneously leaves me feeling disconnected to my actual world has been exhausting. I don't even know why I'm sharing this. Maybe I'm just hoping I'm not the only one.
17 928 March, 2019
When I was little, my favorite color was purple (or as I pronounced it: 'peeple'.) Then in 1998, The Powerpuff Girls premiered on Cartoon Network and I hardcore identified with Buttercup for her tenacious, tomboyish ways, so I changed my favorite color to green. It's been my favorite color ever since.
These days it has less to do with a crime-fighting kindergartener with super powers and more to do with planet Earth. I grew up in Vegas, there was no greenery there. So when I get to see the color green in the form of life, it's magical. It's why I fell in love with Ireland. It's why we got married in a forest in Washington. It's why I LOVE the rain. Yesterday, Gus and I hiked in the rain through rolling hills of greenery and I remember looking down at my feet before he took this photo and feeling so connected with our planet. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
One day, we're gonna live in the forest, tucked away in the mountains somewhere.
I’m pretty sure this is what Los Angeles looked like before we put a concrete jungle over it. There are these little pockets of Jurassic-like terrain sprinkled about the city and it’s wild to think about a pre-human LA crawling with prehistoric creatures.
Anyway, I’m rambling, but these two cute huh? 😍
5 706 March, 2019
After 6 months of knowing each other, we had the marriage talk. We moved in together the next morning. We got engaged 6 months later. We planned our elopement in a week. We got married 6 months later. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s that old adage: “When you know, you know.” There wasn’t one specific moment for us. It was a collection of them over the course of our first few months. Everything just clicked. There were so many shared idiosyncrasies. He has felt like someone I’ve known my entire life from the moment I met him. It always felt like something much greater than us, something far beyond our control, pulled us together like magnets, despite any obstacles in our way. And now everything before him feels like a past life; like I was asleep for my first 24 years.
In other words: This Guy. 👍🏻 Photo: @benjhaisch
*lays down in bed at night time, writes really vulnerable and personal post and schedules it for the morning* ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
*wakes up, immediately cancels and deletes all evidence of post and uses emoji as a caption instead *