This is a continuation of my previous post because ya girl likes to ramble sometimes 😂 (like once in a supermoon)
I'm older and wiser than I seem, and look. I seem more innocent than I am, and look. I have been equal parts hell and holy water for as long as I can remember- for a long time I would say this about me: adults see an angel and my peers see the devil. I learned at a young age that adults were fakers in grown skin and I spent my teens figuring out how to bend every rule and illuminate every contradiction they put in my path in a way that created a ripple but never a wave. I was subjected to such random but frequent trauma- sexual, emotional, mental and a couple times physical- that it is impossible to deny that at least one of my purposes on Earth is to help people who have dealt with, are dealing with, such traumas. I began my self-administered therapy around the age of 10 through reflection, journaling, intuitive healing. On the outside I had a very happy childhood. I was outgoing, I laughed a lot, I liked being the center of attention, I liked school, I always had friends and I always had frienemies. I have a thriving soul- I am old on the inside; that's the only way I can explain how I survived. I was a mother, a teacher, and a healer before I had a child, before I had a degree and teaching certificate, before I had taught myself to heal. It was through trauma, growth and forgiveness that I have become a warrior, a lover and a survivor ✌️♥️ #endlongpost#beautifullybroken#recoveringmeangirl#rehabilatedmeangirl#imwriting#healing#growing#reflecting#loving#empath#writing#writingcommunity#womenwritersofinstagram
I wanted to reintroduce myself and if you're already familiar with my introductions this may go off track a bit 🚞 #longpost
Hiiiiiiii 🙋♀️ I'm Tessa!
These are the first three labels I would think to apply to myself; labels society has given me, labels I take on as my own as I know I have spent my lifetime (32 years) being created for them.
I moved 18 times by the time I was 17 and I could never give a reason why other than "because my mom wanted to move" when the teachers asked. I was almost always the teacher's pet (your loss Mrs. McDonald). I always had friends who needed help; friends who had drunk moms and abusive dads (my mom and I had issues but I didn't realize them until I was a young adult). As a kid, my mother was a hero- the only beam of light, the only thing to live for in my life. I chugged on for her 🙏 My father is a con man and my mother is a fallen angel; he's European and she's pure-bred-mutt American. Their modern-hippie with some corrupt Orthodox influences taught me compassion and pure unconditional love while flirting with evil. I have heard the phrases literally (not hyperbolically) thousands, if not millions, of times: - I love how I can just be myself with you
- I can tell you anything
- I know you'd never judge me
- you're so cute
In my late teens I realized I was badly damaged (🤖 factory model broke, send in for reset 🤖). I still hadn't realized I was programmed from trauma but I was beginning to, without the language. I instinctively but unconsciously cut friends off to heal. I snuggled into the man I married when I was 20. At that time, I felt I had lived more life than most adults in any given room. We built a cocoon in college. We packed it up, moved it to a new spot, got jobs as teachers, got married and had a baby in the cocoon.
The summer before my 30th birthday everything changed. It's been a slow shift- 12 steps forward, 26 steps back; a summit of the mountain, with fatalities along the way. In the last two years I've been torn down and now I'm rebuilding. When I'm done I'll go on to finish the rest of the world- one cocoon at a time 🦋
I'm so excited about the upcoming FREE ten-day (starting March 29) online women's writing conference hosted by @maram.taibah! I need all the support I can get to complete these writing projects of mine ❤
Ok, so it’s nothing major, but I am after a Spanish word or phrase to go at the start of this sentence. . “Have you lost your mind?” .
In English I would have put `Jesus’ or `Sheesh’ but the character is a little, shall we say, upset and I’m looking for something authentically Spanish to show his roots.
It’s a scene from The Sorceress; The Time Is Now which is still at first draft stage. I found this one very hard to write, especially with the lead up to the confession and the event that follows. —————————————————
Envy (A Deadly Sin Short Story) is out now on Amazon - link in bio.
Each phase of the Moon’s cycle brings with it the opportunities for us to reflect and reassess, to grow and evolve. The ways in which to do so differ depending on who you ask. For some, this current phase – the Waning Gibbous Moon – allows us space to ask: what’s working? What’s not working? Why? For others, this phase invites us to practice receiving. To learn and embody what it means to receive selectively, healthily, and with gratitude. As with most deeply personal practices, I find it best – and the least confusing route – to take what works and leave what doesn’t.⠀
What many sources do seem to agree upon, though, is what it means to be born during a Waning Gibbous phase. I was surprised and delighted to find so much consistent and extremely resonant info on the personalities of folks (like me!) born during this phase. Here’s what I learned...⠀
Also known as the Disseminating phase, people born under this Moon are usually driven by a desire to communicate and convey information. We like to share our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned from them. We often feel compelled to spread the word about everything we love and believe in. We’re teachers by nature, whether or not we educate in an actual classroom; we also love to learn, like, a lot, in order to keep helping others with what we learn. Many of us will feel a deep calling to leave a legacy that has a positive impact on the world; we hope to leave the world a little better and brighter than it was when we got here. Some of our biggest lessons in this life are learning when to talk and when to listen, and that we aren’t responsible for whether our messages are received or not – aka detach from outcomes and just continue to do your best because you believe in the work.⠀
For those of you born under a Waning Gibbous, does this resonate as deeply for you as it did for me?⠀
Papercutouts - a raw canvas for decorating capes.
It’s wasn’t only a craft project at the kitchen table with the kiddos. I strayed and stayed beyond their attention, drawing myself into all of the future me’s... a special cape for the on time chauffeur mom, for the ace student mom, for the being-my-own-boss mom, for the family manager, for the keep-us-healthy mom, for the keep-us-sane-and-kind-and-peace-mom, for the efficient solo mom, for the artist, the dreamer, big kid who can’t always play - all scribbled upon the open vulnerable womanhood of me. .
I saw myself in paper and markers and scissors 20 years ago.
Then I went out and saw more things in the other young mothers... toddler-slinging authors, home-welcoming dancers, the garden chefs, the home educators, women I admire, I want to be like, my tribe. .
Our next woman author/writer is @elizabeth_gilbert_writer. Author of Eat Pray Love, Gilbert is a genuine and heartfelt storyteller. I instantly fell in love after Eat Pray Love.
Confession: I have a serious love/hate relationship with self help books. Let me rephrase; I hate the cookie cutter outline that a lot of self help books seem to give. Every human being is different with their own unique dreams and failures. An overall step by step guide isn’t going to magically fix someone. Different strokes for different folks is one of my many mantras.
So when I was stalking the local book store in search of something great, I was not entirely sure about this book. I didn’t want another book giving me a “fullproof” guide that I had to REALLY try hard to get it to apply to me. I wanted a conversation so to speak. Real ideas, almost abstract but more thought provoking than a list. The problem is that ideas need to be fostered and tailored to each person. Big Magic I feel, is the diamond in the rough that ditches the formula and speaks from the heart.
I absolutely love the bigger ideas in this book. It helps change my thought process. Formulas don’t do that. It’s empowering and allows me to take those abstract ideas and tailor them to my own life. She does a marvelous job in creating a book that feels like I’m having a conversation with her. It’s real and real will never go out of style.
If your like me and have some concerns about self help books, this one won’t disappoint. I feel funny even referring to it as self help. Either way, give it a shot and tell me what you think!! #litloverslane #bookshelf #bookstagram #instabooks #booksofinstagram #book #books #bibliophile #womenshistorymonth #womenauthors #womenwriters #womenwritersofinstagram #authorsofinstagram #author #writersofinstagram #writerscommunity #writers #elizabethgilbert #bigmagic
Day 22 #wwfchallenge2019 here is a short fun scene between Avery and Rafael.
Rafael leaned over the bath and kissed me, the sleeves of his shirt touching the bath water and soaking him to the skin. .
"Room for another body in there?" He asked cheekily out the corner of his mouth, our lips still touching. Rafe didn't give me chance to answer as he slipped off his shoes and climbed in still fully dressed. .
"Rafe! What are you doing?" I giggled as water sloshed over the side and onto the tiled floor. .
"Ruining another suit for you." He knelt over me and my legs instinctively wrapped around his hips. .
"It was only a shirt last time and, besides, it was you who ripped the buttons off." .
"Meh, details." He shrugged and then kissed me deeply, his tongue exploring my mouth as his hands slipped and slid across my wet skin.
Envy (A Deadly Sin Short Story) is out now on Amazon - link in bio.
In business, in entrepreneurship, and in writing, I have always advocated for #communityovercompetition . It's a small world for most of us and competing with each other just makes the world so much smaller.
So, let's take the time today and recognize these people who have been a great part of our community and thank them for inspiring us and motivating us to chase our dreams and our goals. Tag them here so we can follow them and be inspired ourselves!
Magdalena war heute bei den #Z2Xsummits dabei, vorallem um an der Session "How to build a feminist Data Set" von Caroline Sinders teilzunehmen. Sinders erörtert, wie Datensammlungen im Netz, Menschen und bestimmte Themen marginalisieren, aber auch stigmatisieren. Darum arbeitet sie an einem #feministdataset , das intersektional, antirassistisch und transinclusive ist. Verfolgen könnt ihr Projekt beispielsweise hier: https://carolinesinders.com/ oder auf Twitter unter [at]carolinesinders @carolinesinders
2 2412 hours ago
“My heart is full”! Beautiful happy poetry witches!
The other day I wrote about bravery. But.....I am not a naturally brave person. For me, bravery feels a lot like this picture. Stepping out to be brave, then feeling like screaming a lot, sometimes even crying a lot, then picking myself up and putting on bravery again.
I am the girl who would easily stand against the wall at a party and observe every one else having fun. I would rather sit in the cabin reading and drinking coffee than ski down the mountain. My nature is to shy away, hold back, and stick to me and mine.
But the desires and dreams inside force me to learn bravery. (And it is learned.) Bravery doesn’t happen every day. Some days I want to walk as far away from the new and adventurous as I can get. Some days I don’t feel brave, and I don’t feel like putting on a brave face either.
The reason I choose courage is because I want my kids to see me stepping out and not holding back. I want them to know we can do even more than we think we can. I want my kids to see me running after dreams and marking goals and turning them into reality.
I chose to be brave for the people who are watching me. The ones I know and the ones I don’t know. Because if I can be brave, then I know others can too. “Courage isn’t the absence of fear. Courage is feeling the fear and stepping out anyway.” What do you feel you need to take courage, be brave and step into?