You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever worked SO HARD to make others happy or give you their approval, only to find that you aren’t really happy with your life or yourself. You weren’t SATISFIED the way you thought you would be by pleasing other people.💩
So many people mistake the concept of “pleasing people” with caring too much about what OUTSIDERS think. •
But in my experience, the people we try to please are usually those a bit closer to us.
They are our parents, our partners, our siblings, our cousins, aunts and uncles, friends, peers, & employers.
We do stuff to be accepted, to be liked, to be seen and acknowledged, to finally fit in and belong. But none of it ever works. None of it ever feels right or makes you happy. And that’s ALL because the secret to a happy life is NOT found in pleasing others.
Cuz the truth is, you can’t spread joy you don’t have. If you think you can make others happy while making yourself unhappy in the process think again. It’s a lose-lose situation. You gotta fill the cup before you can pour it out.
So, the secret to a happy life is one where you live according to YOUR TRUTH and find happiness and alignment there. Then, you will be able to spread joy. Then you’ll just have a sense of belonging, no matter where you are, cuz you’ll belong TO YOURSELF.
Don’t chase the ever changing expectations of others. Just live your life as you please.
I attended my first coach Summit with 2 of my coaches. One is still here and she is the top Star Diamond coach on our team. (Go Colleen go!!) This year’s Summit was all about connecting with these amazing women. Our team has grown. We keep attracting the right people. Those with similar values and goals in life.
We push each other. We support each other. This trip was so much more than just a bunch of training, workouts and parties. I’m so honoured to work with all of you!!! ❤️
5 159 hours ago
Do you know what’s pretty cool?!
I travelled for 2.5 weeks and my bank account didn’t move even though I was spending money!
Because while I was away I was still earning a weekly pay cheque.
This job has allowed me to do more than I’ve ever dreamed of and it is just the beginning!
Another trip has been booked for 2020! 😆
If I can do it, you can too! 🤘
I wrote a whole blog post about ways you can battle bad body image, but the most important part actually wasn't about getting over it at all.
This is what it said.
"One of the things that has helped me the most on my body positivity and self-love journey is allowing myself to feel those negative feelings and asking questions about where they come from. No one is going to feel confident and positive 100 percent of the time, and there is nothing wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with admitting you’re not feeling it today.
But I also believe there is so much power in asking questions about our emotions. Ask why, and keep doing it until you get to the bottom. It may be easy to answer the question, “Why do I feel bad about myself today?” In the past, my go-to answer to that question would’ve been, “Because I feel fat.” What if you kept going though? What if you kept asking questions like, “Why does being fat make me feel bad?” “Whose standards am I trying to live up to?” “Where are these feelings really coming from?”
It might get a little uncomfortable, but sitting with those negative feelings and trying to really understand where they are coming from is such a powerful thing. For me, it helped me realize that I was feeling bad about myself because of impossible societal standards and the opinions of people I didn’t even care about. Knowing what is driving your negative emotions is way more powerful in feeling good about yourself than distraction ever will be.”
How do you deal with bad body image days? I’d love to add some of your ideas to my post!
(As always, link in bio)
5 2812 hours ago
Felt like Barbie 💖 in this cute @forever21plus romper
Swipe to see what most of my pictures look like 😂
My birthday is a few weeks away. I have some thoughts.
It's wild to me that I love myself more than I ever have. I show up for myself more. Encourage myself more. Empower myself more. And I am more careful with whom I spend my time and give my love to.
My 30's have been absolutely wonderful thus far. A whole lot of pain and loss here as well, but the inner, personal growth I have experienced has been powerful and largely due to the losses and the pains.
Everything I have experienced has brought me to where I am today. And for that I am grateful. I am so very grateful I have been alive for 34 years. I am so grateful to exist in this body, in this place, at this time.
Gratitude continues to be a strong theme for this year. My 34th year. What a wild ride.
0 5914 hours ago
Mientras nos llega la nueva colección, aprovechamos para ofrecerles una súper oportunidad. Todas las tallas 2X y 3X con 40% este jueves, viernes y sábado 😉
Summit was the MOST amazing time! I met people who have the same vision as I do; people who are not satisfied with making sacrifices on their dreams & spending time with their family to work a safe 9-5 job. But if I had it my way, I probably wouldn’t have gone at all. I was sacred to death to leave. Not to travel alone, I’ve done that. Not to attend a conference but to spend time with women that I didn’t know at all. Girls that I couldn’t pick out of a crowd.
When I initially started working out using the at home programs and following the meal plans it was for me. To feel better about me and not feel like my life was falling apart. I then saw the community behind it. Women who were working on their health then helping others do the same. They would share pictures of them on vacations having the best girl time! They would talk about how they laughed together, cried together and just did life together. I knew I wanted that. So I joined to help others but also to help myself find that community.
We had a great time together. We did exactly what I had wished for. Laughed, cried, took tons of pictures and learned from one another. And I nearly didn’t go because I was so nervous that I wouldn’t fit in. The thing is that everyone fits in. I saw everyone, short girls, tall girls, dark girls, light girls, bigger girls, smaller girls. It didn’t matter. I found them…if there ever was a community of people who you were going to fit in with, it was this. I am going to be running a sneak peak on how to be apart of this community this weekend. How I am able to work from home and go on trips and still be able to make an income. Without sacrificing my life at a 9-5 job, all while working on myself! If you want in share your favorite emoji below in the comments & I’ll message you!!
💙💕💙 When things don't work out (for whatever reason), we often react rashly. When a relationship ends we might declare we don't believe in love anymore and we're swearing off dating forever. 💙💕💙 But usually, eventually, with time, hopefully, we are able to realize that was one situation and that situation can't run our lives. I have known people that have let one situation determine their attitude and path for the rest of their lives. 💙💕💙 I get these reactions. I've done it. But you know what it really is? It's fear. We're scared of getting hurt again, so we create new rules and build walls that keep out new people and opportunities. 💙💕💙 Again. I get it. It's one of many defense mechanisms. And really, sometimes it's helpful to have that wall built for a period of time so we can focus on ourselves. What you don't want to do is live behind that wall for the rest of your life. 💙💕💙 You won't find one person who doesn't have a story that made them want to give up and hide from the world. That actually isn't that unique. But what *is* special is deciding to get back out there. To strip the walls down, and strip ourselves down in the process. 💙💕💙 Becoming vulnerable in any state/area is one of the scariest things we can do. And we all feel vulnerable about different things. Having the courage to try again, knowing this might happen in a different way all over again... that is special. That is courageous. That is the goal. And I believe you can do it. #uncustomaryselflove // 📷 @maurahousley
1 3019 hours ago
You turn the darkness into sun light, I'm a lucky girl.
3 1419 hours ago
I love it when one of the shining stars & bright lights in your life just pops by to remind you...
That there are no wrong choices.
Thank you @beckblay for the wise & reassuring words 🙏🏼
Have a wonderful day all!
Enjoy your choice-making... Every turn will somehow lead you to where you’re meant to be, whichever way you take...
Xxx ♥️ xxX
14 4921 hours ago
GUYS @hellojuicestl launched their freshly squeezed juices and I cannot calm down. Grab one for those hot stl summer days and embrace your inner superfood goddess.
4 1822 hours ago
Titled: Summer ☀️
1 7717 July, 2019
My mood before and after the waiter brings me food #hangry
“I entered my 30s having to deal with a lot of health problems and my body changed due to them. I really didn’t know how to dress myself anymore, it’s hard to figure out on your own. You want to be confident and you want to be happy but you just don’t know what looks good anymore. I guess you could say my fashion rule was to make sure that I don’t walk out the door looking like an idiot and that would limit my choices and what I would wear. I look at things in my closet and say no I can’t wear that it’s too skimpy or no I can’t wear that it’s too formfitting but going through this photo shoot I realized that I do actually have a really nice figure and it made me feel far more confident when someone was dressing me and telling me this looks great on you, you should wear it.” - @settle_ceramics Styled by @bethhitchcock in @madewell Photo: @ohhhchelsea
I am the QUEEN of coming home from a trip and just letting every habit I’ve ever had fall apart. Has this ever happened to you? You leave and everything feels great, you’re drinking all the water, committing to your fitness, eating food that makes your body feel good, you come home and suddenly it’s like “who was that”? All you’re drinking is soda, you’ve eaten an entire bag of Cheetos and you’re sporting orange fingers and tongue, and you plan to never leave the couch again? Because that has been me basically forever.
I knew that today was going to be insanely busy and if I didn’t get moving early, it probably wouldn’t happen. I literally forced myself out of bed and into my workout clothes. Starting up is THE hardest part of forming any habit. After you repeat the action multiple times your body begins to form a habit. And the more you do it, the easier it is to start it.
Just like brushing your teeth. Do you ever need will power to brush your teeth? Probably not. It’s a habit, every day after you have breakfast but before you get dressed you brush your teeth. Forming a habit for working out is the same. Start today and do it again tomorrow.
Take messy action! Just do it…don’t wait. Nothing has to be perfect to start moving your body. You don’t need to already have lost weight, or that your food wasn’t very good that day. Just do it, and do it again tomorrow and then again the next day. Then on day 4, you’ll see that it didn’t take as much effort as it did on day 1.
Als Kind meine Lieblingsfarbe, habe ich Gelb lange für mich verloren und erst vor kurzem wiederentdeckt 💛
Ein Thema, was mich besonders beschäftigt, sind die vielen Hasskommentare, welche momentan das Netz fluten. Und ich komme einfach nicht darüber hinweg, wie Menschen andere so mit Worten niedermachen können. Schon öfters draussen in der Realität erlebt, nehmen diese Hasskommentare hier im Netz schon überdimensionale Ausmasse an. Und dabei spreche ich noch nicht einmal von mir als 'Opfer'. Noch bin ich davon glücklicherweise ziemlich verschont geblieben. Aber tagtäglich lese ich in verschiedensten Feeds die böswilligsten und menschenverachtendsten Kommentare. Egal wie man aussieht, keiner wird ausser Acht gelassen. Ob zu kleine Brüste, zu grosser Bauch, zu wenig Hintern, zu viel Cellulite oder gar eine Monobraue. Es scheint, dass keiner in ein Raster passt um sich nicht mit fiesen Beleidigungen herumschlagen zu müssen.
Und wir sprechen hier nicht von der sogenannten konstruktiven Kritik, welche in solchen Fällen gerne mal in den Mund genommen wird. Sondern von Gemeinheiten, welche jedem mutwillig an den Kopf geworfen werden, die sich für eine Sache stark machen möchten oder einfach nur ihre Träume verwirklichen wollen. Ich wünsche uns allen ein bisschen mehr 🌈 und 💛 .
SOOOOO much about this picture right here!!!! Besides the messy closet :) SUPER proud of myself. Current weight is 159.9..Down 3.3 pounds since June 13th!!
But also my pants are sooo loose on me AND I'm wearing a belt I haven't been able to wear in about a year..oh and what is that I see? are those abs trying to peak out 🤷🏼♀️💪🏼
4 3716 July, 2019
And under our blue skies
Marble movie skies
I found a home in your eyes
We’ll never be apart.
12 49716 July, 2019
I’ve spent most of my life hiding these gams away from the world (which is why they are so glaringly white). I’ve been ashamed of them.
I’ve hidden them away. I’ve felt insecure and self conscious about them. I’ve spent years believing my worth was somehow tied to the number of lumps and bumps on my legs. I’ve existed in this constant fear of what others would say or think.
I wish I could sit here today and tell you I just don’t give a shit. That if you don’t like it, don’t look, and I’m done hiding away the parts of myself that make me and others uncomfortable.
If I’m being completely transparent though, that’s not yet completely the case. I still feel those twinges of insecurity and have flash backs to mean boys saying mean things.
The magic of it all is that even though I still feel the doubt, I’m able to recognize it for what it is - a waste of time and not at all a true reflection of my worth. I look at my girls and realize they could not care less what my packaging looks like. They just want me to play in the river, get in the pool, go on the slip n’ slide...they want me to be an active participant in their lives, and so do I. How crazy would it be if I missed out on time with my daughters because of my legs?
I’ll tell you how crazy. Very.
It and I are works in progress. I’m working on a masterpiece over here 🌟🌟
13 3316 July, 2019
I could bet it all on me. Have some heart and work like a motherfucker.
9 2716 July, 2019
Forgiving yourself is for you
Forgiving them is for you
Talk about self-love and self-care
There is no wrong way to forgive
And this is no means, you have to trust again, or forget what happened
It simply means you release yourself of the heaviness that you have been holding on to. The hurt, the pain, the endless suffering and overthinking.
Forgiving is for you.
So forgive yourself so you can learn, grow and shine once again.
En l’honneur de @premme.us qui a annoncé hier qu’ils ferment définitivement la boutique à la fin juillet, je voulais vous rappeler à quel point leurs collections étaient fashion on point. Merci d’avoir permis à des milliers de client(e)s plus size d’avoir eu accès à des items trendy, conçus par 2 des plus grandes créatrices de contenus Américaines: @gabifresh et @nicolettemason , mes 2 fashion icons préférées. Si vous voulez mettre la main sur un morceau de PREMME, allez sur leur site web immédiatement: tout est en liquidation! Profitez-en avant qu’il ne reste plus rien.. 😭
Unlearning self hate is journey, a slow purposeful relationship.
One day I’ll have a child and the legacy I want to pass on is one of love and appreciation for the body I’ve been given. What amazing, incredible things it can do. I refuse to waste space emotionally, mentally, and verbally on self deprecating behaviour, it doesn’t serve me, and it doesn’t serve you.
“A reminder that the more we show up, the more normal and beautiful it all becomes. This is a post to remind you not to get distracted by the thoughts that tell you otherwise , this is a post for all of us unlearning our self hate.” Loved these words by @thebirdspapaya
i want black hair forever now ~ new @dollskill haul up on my channel link in bio 💚
112 3,58714 June, 2019
In my fave city, my second home ❤️🌻
50 2,3455 July, 2019
We are halfway through 2019. When you were writing out your goals for the year, is this where you wanted to be?
I went back and looked through what I wrote down for the year - self care was a big one for me. Self care meaning - walk my dogs, exercise, practise yoga, share my story (hey!), and of course, drink more water. So many things I feel proud to be accomplishing and so many more things I want to work towards.
So, Ill ask again - are you accomplishing what you set out to achieve this year?