So here I am again . Back to square 1.
ALONE as always. Having no one to talk to.
How does it feel to not have anyone to share your good or bad days with? To not have someone you can share your thoughts and feelings with. To have just yourself at the end of the day. I really need at least someone now. Someone that I can go on a drive with or maybe just for an ice cream date or for a walk at least . I think that this is how it is going to be like . I am always going to be by myself. And I guess I am slowly getting used to this. Walking alone with music blasting through my headphones, writing down my days in a journal just to satisfy myself, talking to myself or maybe some online friends sometimes because others always talk to me for their own reasons. I literally wonder what do people talk so much about on their phone. Or maybe it is just me because I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't have people to go out to café's with so I treat myself . All I have with me is my phone, books, diary, my thoughts and myself. And that's okay being not at all okay. Because that's what I am getting used to. And tbh I don't trust anyone anymore promising me or caring for me because everyone turns out to be the same in the end.I don't tell anyone about all of this. But someday I want them to know that the girl who is always helping them out with their shit and is always smiling has always be A LONER :( FOLLOW: @cold_mess_@cold_mess_@cold_mess_
God that's deep
I woke up today very early then waited for my dad to driv to the university BUT he took me late AGAIN
I always wake up early and wait for him to come then I go late and I sat all in the back and didn't really see something since we were more than 200 person and that's piss me of a lot because I hate having to wake-up early and get ready and then sit in the back and not understand a thing !!!
Besides the university is far from my house so I can't go walking and there is no bus so my dad have to take me
And then he started screaming at me telling me that I m tiring him and stressed too much and stupid and he is tired of me
This is not fair , because he doesn't even know how much effort I need to wake up go to study and act like a normal human being all day !!!
I would like to stay in my bed too, but I can't , I have to wake up early and go and study and talk and act happy and kind and Loving
Not like I like this too.
Maybe tomorrow I will wake up even earlier and take a taxi to stop bothering my father, since I'm just an annoying useless shit, and he doesn't care enough to even take me one time in day to university •
(Sorry for my terrible english)
Last night.. I found out the person I loved so deeply with all of my heart and that i would have did anything for cheated on me... I searched his first and last name on twitter and seen things i wish my mind would erase... almost two years of my life thrown down the drain for nothing.. Is there any loyal guys out there still these days??... are there any good guys left?? #brokenheart#single#hurt#ilovedhim#bye#sad
Pain in the body. Thats the first time I want to explain this. Life is not fair, and It havent been fair for me for so many years. I had a lot of problems to recognised that I have some big problems with my life. I want to support all the people that have psychosomathic pain, depression and difficults to deal with that. Yes, I am one of the children that had lived abuse at home. Not directly me, but I lived with that for so many many years. And now, with 25 years old, I want to break the silence.
I started to talk with the people around me and I want to break the silence and start talking more and more. Please, having children is a big responsability. If you want children, think it fucking twice. Children are gold.