Meals' Horror Story: I'm a very meticulous person. I like routine, so every Thursday I close at work I start quite late in the day, the perfect opportunity for me to smash out my cleaning for the week. Just like every other late night Thursday I did exactly that. I was cleaning my kitchen counter when I lifted the rim where my kettle sits and I noticed all these black particles underneath. Strange I thought, I'm a messy coffee drinker but bitch I ain't that messy. I started to knock the rim on its side and, wait for it, 8 fucking live cockroaches came flying out with about 3000 black particles which was clearly their shit all over my god damn kitchen counter top. Oh hell no, like nope, dat nasty, God I did not ask for this, not cool m8. I then started to sob while I grabbed a paper towel and started smashing these live coachroaches running across my kitchen bench this fine thursday morning. Then I looked down and that's when I noticed it.. sitting on my studio floor, the mother of all coachroaches, dead, upside down, the size on my fucking palm. And if you were my neighbour all you would of heard was me whaling while I grabbed a paper towel threw it at the coachroach and gave myself a 5min pep talk to pick it up. Honestly I spent 10 minutes scrubbing myself in the shower to wash away the many particles of coachroach shit that probably went all over me when I decided to unleash the nightmare living in my kettles rim. Bless Sydney.
3 512 minutes ago
I finally managed to wake up early today for my 9am ‘dissertation’ lecture after failing to make it for the past 2 weeks. The professor was checking if we are all on the right track so he asked me “What is your topic title” and sleepy arse me had the guts to ask him “ what are we talking about? Dissertation?” So he laughed sarcastically and said “what do you think?” Do I shut up now? No I need to embarrass myself more and say “no really what are we talking about because Im lost” 😊 And ill just leave you to use your imagination now. #ineedserioushelp#fml
Long story short: we paid $700 to repair my car after some rodent(s) chewed 12 wires and tried to make a nest under the hood! They also got ahold of some wiring in Danny’s car, but not as badly so we haven’t taken it in yet. And before our cars, they damaged our neighbor’s 2 cars (totaling 1 of them)! 😱🤬🤦🏼♀️ Beware, friends. #NoNutNovember is taking on a whole new meaning. 🐭🐿🐀
4 491 hours ago
Who run the world... GIRLS!
But Jesus, Mary and Joseph! No one told us that period pain and PMS actually gets worse as we get older!! We thought our moody 17yr old menstruating selves were bad enough.
Now we have to deal with pain and bloody PMS (see what I did there) All while trying to adult, parent, work and hustle (while simultaneously plucking grey hairs from our heads). Bridget is in pain and feels like a bloated Buddha. She's even dabbled in #dominos tonight. Thank fuck for BFF interventions.
Krystal gave Bridge some painkillers, wine, and a tit punch for being so dramatic. (Queen K is a Leo and no one, not even Bridget, gets away with being more dramatic than her!) #thanksfriend#squadgoals#fml#pms#copywritequeensco