When my marriage ended, I discovered one big thing about myself. I discovered that I had lost who I truly was. That this version of me was not the me I used to know. Somewhere along the way I had sacrificed myself to fit in better.
Even though we have to let go of parts of us in order to be in a relationship. It doesn’t mean moulding ourselves so much that we lose who we are at our core. I never noticed, I just figured that I was being a good wife.
When it ended, I had no idea who I was or what I was meant to do. Who was I, on my own. What was my purpose in this life. Trust me when I say I didn’t ask myself these questions at the beginning. I just tried to figure what I was doing.
Trying not to beat myself up for letting myself to become a stranger in my own body. My soul was no longer on fire the way it used to be. My heart didn’t dance when it heard music. My body didn’t light up when I got excited. I can’t even begin to tell you what happened when I had sex with someone else for the first time! Yes I said it! I’m not even sorry.
What’s hard is admitting to yourself that you need to fix it and you have work to do. It’s hard at first to rewrite the stories you’ve been telling yourself for so long. Even the stories that someone else told you. The path to become who I dreamed about was far longer then it needed to be.
As I end on that and don’t worry there will be more about this. I want to ask you a question. Who are you currently? Is it who you dreamed you would be? Did you realise after a break up how much of you, that you let go?
Thank you mama for everything you do! I couldn’t have gotten through these last few weeks without you...ok maybe my entire life.😏
From helping me run my kids around to all their activities, to talking me through my ugly crying sessions you have been my best friend, and my biggest cheerleader.
Also I am going to need a new dress for the party you are throwing me in a few weeks when all this craziness is finally over...you might want to start making a list 💁♀️👗 #divorceparty#momsareawesome#granny#uglycrying