Today has been a very high and random #anxiety day. I had plans for today that just didn't happen due to #depression and mini #anxietyattacks all day. But around 6pm I convinced myself to leave the house and Anna and I headed out to the #rvapridefest on #brownsisland. I didn't get any pics because we were too focused on keeping our cool, but Anna conquered her (unknown) fear of this giant metal pedestrian bridge over rushing waters, and I conquered my small bout of agoraphobia. Go team!
INFLAMMATION / WEIGHT GAIN / ANXIETY & DEPRESSION / ALL OF THE THINGS
Love LOVE Mallory's story...... "I started implementing a natural anti-inflammatory into my gut health regimen about four months ago + stayed consistent with what I have been doing, and this is the difference in four months!
This is just the difference on the outside, though. The fact that I no longer deal with horrible body aches, joint pain, stomach issues (all day every day), debilitating periods and serious anxiety are all 1000000% more important to me than my outer appearance.
I can SHOW UP for my life now, y’all. I can honestly say that I feel GOOD. A year ago I never thought I’d feel good again.
Gut health is SO VITAL and rarely talked about in the medical world. I finally did my own research, asked hard questions and today I am OFF of almost all of the medication I was dragging around with me and back to feeling like myself. It is so worth it, friends."
1 36 minutes ago
I want to be happy. I guess that's the moral of this post?
I'm eating and drinking myself to death and I honestly don't care because one day, my body WILL give up on me. That's my intention.
I'm slowly killing myself.
I feel like there's no more hope.
My only hope out there is DBT.
It's the 2nd week and I can't find the motivation to do ANYTHING. I'm supposed to be focusing on "mindfulness." However, I can't focus. Every time I try to focus, I end up crying.
I keep thinking about all the relationships I have screwed up.
I keep thinking about disappearing. I feel like If I do, people are going to be a lot happier.
I feel like I can't change as much as I want to. There's something that NEEDS to change. However, I'm lost. I feel like there's no escape and I'm stuck in this time vortex, unable to get out.
I feel death - All around me.
It's only a matter of time -
Before I actually break down -
And just end it.
I don't feel okay and it's been like this for a while.
Most importantly -
The thing that would make me the happiest at the moment -
Is for my family to come together and stop arguing.
I want my Mom to seee for whom I am. But she sees me as a monster. Maybe I am? I've actually convinced myself I am one.
I just want someone.
I may sound needy.
Trying to be okay here.
I can't even breathe.
0 47 minutes ago
Anyone that has depression or anxiety go listen to this song “This girl” by Lauren Daigle. Hope the songs helps💕 it sure is helping me & I’ve only listened to it twice & I can not thank @selenagomez enough for always being there for me & for always telling me that it’s okay to be me & that it’s okay to be different❤️ I love her sm!!! She’s my inspiration❤️❤️ #beyourself#selenagomez#inspiration#depression#anxiety#Love