It's not that I simply want to die. It's also that I don't know how to live.
I don't know how to start again.
I'm not loved and it's harder than ever to give it in return.
I do want to die unless someone can show me how to live.
Every day I'm closer to simply ending it all.
I want to die ". Everyday I wake up thinking that and the thoughts pound me through out the day. I want to die.
I want to die.
I want to die.
I hate myself and want to die.
It's no longer a question "if" I will commit suicide, but when. -S.D.R.
Discussion with Darkness Day 2
I’m going to let you play a bit today... You know the direction I’m taking us...care to offer value and have some fun?
Tonight Im honored to support the #fight against #autism as a celebrity guest at a poker tournament this evening. Clearly they’ve been to the future or a parallel universe where I’m considered a celebrity. Cause that hasn’t happened yet in my eyes: But I’m proud of the work I’m doing on myself and for others....so maybe it’ll be a bi-product in the near future. Guess we’ll find out ✨
Dear Darkness... you’ve been playing poker since age 5... you got good. You went with your Mom to Vegas for your 21st birthday and could of won that tournament instead of getting third...but you got cocky and drunk with alcohol and power. In NYC you found underground matches and fell Into a darker world of drugs and more alcohol. It’s my fault really. I didn’t have a personal and altruistic purpose I had truly committed to yet. I now have purpose... I know what I want and you want it to. Join the light Darkness, I trust you to do it your way...with Darkness. I trust you now.
Have fun beating the hell out of everyone tonight so we can make some friends and money for autism.