The hues of sky,
the coloured layers of petals.
the black and white soul,
the red in the passionately weary eyes, the shades of gray,
the nude colors of the mountains....narrate a story, in which the colors of nature inspire the colors we make, to expand, coordinate, disrupt, blend and splash, while they create on.
Growing up gay in a Roman Catholic environment taught me these things about God:
His Love is conditional. In order to earn His favor, you must fear Him. You will “get in” to heaven by practicing righteous behavior, and be “cast out” to the fiery depths of hell if you do not practice righteous behavior.
GOD. JESUS. THE BIBLE.
By association, these ideas - which in essence are just words pointing to vastly beautiful realities - took on a negative connotation early on in my life that instantly disconnected me from them. Because if God = conditional love, and condition = homosexuality, then I was a condemned sinner no matter how much beauty I felt, created, and shared as a sensitive being. In a world of surface-level judgment, sensitivity was subpar, connectedness secondary. There was no getting around the rigid mandate of acceptance set in place, the immutable thought process which had manipulated those I loved and revered the most.
Despite my understanding that I was a deeply creative being from an early age - a little boy that could spend a lifetime alone writing, drawing, and filming Lego movies on his dad’s flip camera - and that God truly expressed himself as every particle of the Universe, I subconsciously began to associate all concepts relating to organized religion with fear.
Fear was the airtight jar in which I kept the secret of my feminine essence prisoner.
I have a fairly controversial opinion on things of this nature. I think expecting your parents to welcome you with open arms and unwavering acceptance is a bit naive. Would it be great if it happened? Absolutely. That would be remarkable if EVERYONE were to be accepted in that way; however, that’s the exception not the rule. Coming out as trans is very difficult (INSANELY difficult) but you also have to realize that by notifying your parents of this, you are changing their entire physical perception of you. It takes time to wrap your head around it. Heck, it took time for ME to wrap my head around being trans and it’s MY life. This doesn’t justify being physically, emotional, and mentally abused, but if there’s tension and a lack of understanding and initial denial... that’s a fairly normal response. I don’t entirely blame my parents for how they act. I know they’re uneducated. I know this is hard on them. So, I give them time. And space. And room to grow and become educated. They deserve to mourn the loss of a perceived daughter before celebrating the existence of a son. —————————————————————— #trans#transgender#ftm#transtips#transmascsupport#lgbt#transyouth#lgbtyouth#transmasc#transsupport#transmemes#transgendermemes#ftmtransgender#transman#transguy#transboy#transhelp#transpositivity#acceptance#comingout#transphobia
FUN FACT: Jack and I got married two years ago today! Feels like a long time but people keep telling us we’re still in the honeymoon phase 😂 I guess for those who’ve been married for 10+ years, two years doesn’t sound very long. In my vows to Jack I said, ”I know that there will be times when we don't agree, when we doubt, when we ask why and don't receive answers. But when those moments come, there's no one I’d rather experience them with than you. I am honored to call you a friend, a companion, a soulmate, and today, my husband.” I love you @jackshapiro ❤️ Happy Anniversary!