After 2 days poorly sick, I'm finally able to focus on the monster that is my MA dissertation. Posting to keep myself accountable & actually produce something each day. Today is lit review & the discussion of school 'autonomy' within a neoliberalistic surveillant governmental society. #brainhurts#masters#socialjustice#uclioe#pupilpremium
Things I have been thinking:
I feel as a trans man I need to be perfection in every aspect of my life as if being trans is such a huge character flaw that I’m not allowed any other imperfections.
I feel I need to be in peak physical condition to prove I’m a man. As if physical fitness defines being a man.
I feel as though I need to have a high paying job to prove queer people can be successful.
I feel as though I need to hide my anxiety and depression because I grew up with the idea that in order to physically transition you needed to accept the label “mentally ill” because that is how the government and world health organization classified you.
Coming to terms with all the learned transphobia that was ingrained in my brain since birth is strange.
I love being a trans man and have no desire to have been born cis. But trying to work out all these ideas in my head and allow myself space to just be without constantly critiquing myself is extraordinarily difficult.